nOtice

well then.. lets have a go at this again.

in the last couple of days that i havnt been blogging ive noticed ive been in a lot of denial about things. Denial with a mix of negligence and a hint of abandonment. Which is why i decided to make several changes in the way i live and minor alterations here and there.

Money has been a pain for several years now. i cant seem to budget or save or simply handle my income. It seems to be my biggest problem and yet its the one i seem to neglect the most. I dont know when ill learn to manage my money, or lack of.

My relationship with food is just crazy, its an abusive love/hate relationship... i tend to eat everything in sight even when im not hungry. Ive read and watched several informants in regards to healthy eating etc and none of them seem to register. However today i saw something that really caught my attention more than anything else. I think ill start applying what i learned to hopefully gain some self control.

I wish i grew up being a swimmer, baseball, basketball, some kind of sport player instead im a pile of undeveloped muscles. I have no body strength what so ever and its kinda sad haha. I accept i can absolutely do something about it but ive been lazy all my life, which sounds horrible. Even typing it makes me cringe... Recently ive been to the gym... ok like once, over a week ago. Im somewhat proud of it cos i tried at-least.. even though i woke up feelin crap for the next 3 days, but i gained a confidence i lacked when i went to the gym previous times. Thanks to the help of a friend i learned some stuff.. but i've got more to learn and once is nothing to what ive yet to accomplish. i just need to be strict.

Has the world been infected with inconsiderate, selfish people? It seems as if a majority of people i know would rather drop good friends for whatever sounds better that minute. I feel like i make a big effort to try and be friends with some people who wouldn't. Even though it shouldn't bother me, it does. That's just my nature i suppose?

the list could go on... these are just things ive noticed as of late.