Stockholm Syndrome

Right, lets give this another go. This past Thursday Swedish dj duo Rebecca & Fiona had their debut American show at San Francisco's Ruby Skye TORQ Thursdays. Although the evening started off a little sour with rude aggro bouncers and an 18+ crowd, they didn't disappoint. They played several tracks from their I LOVE YOU MAN LP as well as their collaborations with Kaskade and Tiesto which were well received by the crowd. To the right is a brief clip of "Jane Doe" where Fiona shows off her signature moves. Its something about the Swedes that I love... it all started off with Ace of Base in 1993, lol.

Today, UPS delivered my Coachella 2012 wristband, along with the usual calender and other treats.  I recall the first time i saw a Coachella Line up in 2001. A Jr in highschool, dying to go yet never built up the courage to just GO. There was always a struggle finding someone to go with. Years passed and i neglected my desire to attend. It wasnt until last year, 2011 that i said, "fuck it". I purchased my pass without a plan, without anyone to go with (mainly because Robyn was performing, another Swede im fond of), i told my self id sort it out.  Luckily the pressure got to the people i ended up going with. With all the bands and genres of music featured its impossible to agree on just one band.  I often found my self having to split up watching a band enjoying my self thoroughly. If only i knew this back then, i couldve gone to coachella alone.  Thirty-eight days from now ill be attending The Coachella Valley Music and Art Festival at The Empire Polo Club in Indio California taking advantage of my youth, making up for past failures.

"Let us dance into the night. Let us speak until we shout... This beat is leaving us this sound"

Complaint dept

My weekend getaway gave me a different outlook. From friends to work to my finances, a lot needs to be reevaluated most importantly my future.
 Since my return I've realized a lot is lacking from my life. My desire and ambition went out the window when I let my self get lost and comfortable. I began to limit myself, my potential went MIA. It kills me to realize how much time I've wasted prioritizing irrelevant things and people before what is truly important. I knew it all along. Where were my standards and everything I learned from past struggles?
 It's unfortunate that it took a simple weekend getaway and a 75 dollar cab ride conversation to enlighten me. The minute I found my self with nothing to do, with an abundance of time feeling rather lonely and powerless I told myself that I wouldn't succumb to this type of behavior. I couldn't allow my self to waste another year wishing to be successful. I won't fill the void with temporary fixes. I really must get to work. I refuse to live pay check to pay check. I have to find my self respect in order to achieve my goals, I must rediscover my self worth In order to be successful and take advantage of opportunities or at-least discover some. From this moment on I musnt pity my self, I have to be an accomplished successful man who can provide for his family who can have anything he desires with hard work. I want to make my parents proud.

"I want to be a free man".

yay!!!

me n gelly want them.

simply put...

0ff top im reconsidering what im doing, who im doin it with, and who i try to hang out with. Seems like i be doin too much for certain people who dont care to show the same respect. I don't expect or ask for anything, however, i think it should be default or known that a friend should be down regardless. This truly goes out to whoever feels like im subliminally talk about you, don't be surprised either. With that being said, i should really focus my time and efforts on those who i believe are genuine with me. I admit that i havn't been makin a huge effort and have been caught up doin my own thing. I must balance my time on those who would enjoy my company and want to know how Shorteey is doing. I'd like to add that this isnt goin toward anyone in specific... its just in general, a lot of stuff has gone on that triggered my decision. Im ready.

you better google me.

nOtice

well then.. lets have a go at this again.

in the last couple of days that i havnt been blogging ive noticed ive been in a lot of denial about things. Denial with a mix of negligence and a hint of abandonment. Which is why i decided to make several changes in the way i live and minor alterations here and there.

Money has been a pain for several years now. i cant seem to budget or save or simply handle my income. It seems to be my biggest problem and yet its the one i seem to neglect the most. I dont know when ill learn to manage my money, or lack of.

My relationship with food is just crazy, its an abusive love/hate relationship... i tend to eat everything in sight even when im not hungry. Ive read and watched several informants in regards to healthy eating etc and none of them seem to register. However today i saw something that really caught my attention more than anything else. I think ill start applying what i learned to hopefully gain some self control.

I wish i grew up being a swimmer, baseball, basketball, some kind of sport player instead im a pile of undeveloped muscles. I have no body strength what so ever and its kinda sad haha. I accept i can absolutely do something about it but ive been lazy all my life, which sounds horrible. Even typing it makes me cringe... Recently ive been to the gym... ok like once, over a week ago. Im somewhat proud of it cos i tried at-least.. even though i woke up feelin crap for the next 3 days, but i gained a confidence i lacked when i went to the gym previous times. Thanks to the help of a friend i learned some stuff.. but i've got more to learn and once is nothing to what ive yet to accomplish. i just need to be strict.

Has the world been infected with inconsiderate, selfish people? It seems as if a majority of people i know would rather drop good friends for whatever sounds better that minute. I feel like i make a big effort to try and be friends with some people who wouldn't. Even though it shouldn't bother me, it does. That's just my nature i suppose?

the list could go on... these are just things ive noticed as of late.

sweets

Ive been so miserable for the last 24 hours. why does it hurt trying to be buff! i can't stretch my arms or properly drive with out feeling like me arms are being torn off. Im just about ready to give up and declare chubby for life. At least i can eat chips and chocolate and be warm and comfy as well as lonely with high standards that'll get me no where haha. just kidding.. hopefully itll go away with constant work

but on that note i really want these sunglasses:

Final thought: i don't really care for how things changed between me and someone. i understand its different but i didn't think it'd end up like that. i figured it'd withstand all that. Im my own person, i wasn't part of that situation. i kept it separate.

watch out.

tightrOpe

Oh Janelle Monae... i love her. Not only is she unique but she is stylish and is so raw. Her vocals and the way she flows is on point. She expresses her personality and exudes confidence, a trait many don't have...

Off top, im not one to trip. I used to dwell and stress on things. I made it a point not to focus on negativity and worry bout shit. However when something bugs me ill speak on it. What i dont understand and really bothers me is when people are so uptight and worry so much about what others think about them. Maybe it comes with age because i suppose i used to have that mind set. Now its like fuck it who cares? Whats the point of acting like someone you clearly arent? idk i can read through people sometimes. Nevermind... lol. enjoy the video tho.